how to focus on yourself and not others

How to Focus on Yourself and Not Others

People compare themselves to others for different reasons. Men usually compare themselves with others on economic status while women usually compare their physical appearance with other women. In any case, it involves knowing yourself. 

What you notice in others is a piece of the story. But estimating other people's outcomes is one of the most useless actions you can waste a lot of your time.

Focusing too much on others not only caused you much pain, but also feel like it destroys your personal development in many ways. By re-focusing on yourself more than others, you will be able to take improvement forward. 

Then again, why compare yourself to others when you know what you need? Why not simply focus on those things and accomplish them? Everything you do, say and focus on is a choice between what is best for you or others. Simply choose what is best for you..

1- Eliminate the Non-Important to Feel Lighter and Focused

In order to focus on improving yourself, first, you have to cut out the non-essential things in your life. For instance, if you are involved in several plans at a time, you may feel overwhelmed. Then you will have the feeling that you are not committing as much or as well as you should have. 

This will lead to negative thoughts about yourself, your self-form will suffer, and you will start projecting it onto to others. In this case, you will consider whether they think you are a poor giver as well.

2- Learn How To Say No & Free Up Your Schedule

You will learn to say “no”

For some strange reasons, we have come to believe that doing more is great for us. Why? Because it feels like only those who do a lot have a great life, and are admired by others. If you take a closer look, you will see that this is not true. Most successful people focus on doing just very few things that they do well. 

To be able to say “no” more often, you have to change your mindset. Every time you feel rude about saying “no”, remember that this will bring more quality into your life, for yourself, and for others.

Next time you get asked whether you can help someone, you should pause and think. Do not answer quickly. Take the time to consider whether you should say “no”. We live in a bigger world, and this causes us to feel pressured to react and answer quickly to everything.

learn to say no

3- Self-Compassion Will Help You Feel More Connected

What you should really start focusing on is self-compassion. You can focus on how you are similar to others. Whatever problem or pain you are going through, somewhere in this world, someone deals with the same pain. 

Think about this. You are never truly alone. And practically, this thought will help you focus more on yourself, and less on those precise others that you should not bother about. 

Self-compassion also helps you teach your inner voice to sound more like a friend, and less like a judging peer.

4- Do a Social Media Detox

Did you remember the last time you spent a full day without holding your phone? If social media sites like Facebook & Twitter disappeared tomorrow, would you feel empty and depressed? Are you addicted to online life?

Doing social media detox can get you away from all of these negativities. Keep in mind that a detox doesn’t have to be permanent, it just has to be long enough to retire your brain and break you out of the endless dominie cycle. You can always come back later.

5- Love Yourself & Compete with Yourself

Love yourself gives you self-value, more confidence, and a more positive feeling. So you should spend some time figuring out how to love yourself first.

If you can do that, you will be much more comfortable and will want to take the best care of yourself to remain happy. After that, you will stop bothering comparing yourself to others and will not care about what they think.

When you compete with yourself, you are dismissing other people's measures for success. You may notice yourself trying something that would be a waste of time to another person, but it doesn't mean to you any longer, because you aren't dependent upon what they think of you. 

Moreover, you don't have to answer them. You only have to answer yourself. Are you working hard enough? Are you doing things you could to live the life you want? And only you can answer these questions for yourself honestly.

6- Clarify Your Values

As you begin to see that you are separate from your thoughts, you can choose the thoughts you do what to have. Identifying your values will help you to get clear on the meaning of what you want and will serve as the basic for living your very best life.

Your values play an huge role in shaping your life. Take time to identify your values and adjust them with your life. The best place to start is to grab a notebook and start writing down what is important to you and why.

7- Set Clear Priorities in Every Area of Your Life to Keep Focus

The best way to overcome this is to first eliminate the non-important plans and things in your life. There should be only one main project in your head. No secondary projects should be equal. 

Can you prioritize your projects right now? The same goes for your free time. Ask yourself: "What is most important for me? What excites me? Is it an important project at work? 

If you want to focus on what is truly important for you in your life, you have to freely know what activities steal your time and eliminate them.

8- Training Mindfulness to Take Control of Your Thoughts

Usually, you are practicing mindfulness is to grow your brain muscle for being naturally mindful. Take time to listen to free audio online which will guide you through a meditation exercise on becoming the observer. Start with 25 minutes per day.

A consistent mindfulness practice will strengthen your ability to learn in order to make personal changes & how you think about yourself, and your behaviours. At which point, you can choose not to participate with the voice in your head. 

9- Be your own Ally

Like the pressure in our daily lives increases, it is important to spend some time to take care of ourselves. That means having a good perspective towards yourself, also trusting and respecting yourself.

You should know that neither you nor anyone else on this planet is excluded from committing mistakes. Actually, mistakes always authorize us to move forward, learn new things, and get more experiences.

10- Judge Yourself and Not Others

Usually, we judge other people and it is a common practice of people to say something about anybody. However, you should judge yourself in every situation of life.

Your focus should be on yourself while judging others. It will help you to make you an honest person. So you start understanding people deeply as people are not different from you.

In most cases, they act and feel just like you. When your whole attention is to note what people are saying about you. So, your focus is in the wrong direction.

11- Accept where you are

We are given opportunities in life to grow and discover our inner strength; failure is one of those opportunities. Unluckily, most people don't take advantage of this time. 

  • You have choices and acceptance. 
  • You need to accept your own choices and respect other people's choices and live with them.
  • You are on your way to accept where you are in your journey and choose to enjoy where you are until you get to where you want to be. 

12- Make Your Own Goals & Imagine Yourself In The Future

If you've learned one thing in life, it is that tomorrow is promised to no one. So while you do think it's a good idea to set goals for yourself and visualize where you see yourself in the future

Keep in mind also that life can throw you a ball at any time, and all your best-arranged plans can be for nothing. So if there is an important goal you want to achieve, then consider alternative techniques you could still succeed your goal if the closest path is blocked.

Imagine about yourself in the future could urge you to make better choices. It enforced them to interface that vision of yourself later on with who you are today. And that connection would help them make smarter, more honest choices.

13- Write Down Your Goals And Look At Them Often

Writing down your goals means that you can visibly see them everyday. This is a crucial part because when we see something, it will affect how we act. So you’re more likely to be productive if you can see what you have to do, instead of just thinking about it. 

The truth is, you’re 42 percent more likely to complete your goals if you write them down on a regular basis. Goals help you become better versions of ourselves. 

You need real goals to increase your motivation to take action. When you’re focused on what you’re doing, you’re guiding your energy toward your goals and you achieve better outcomes.

Moreover, written down your goals help you to have a clear focus and stay on track. When your goals are clearly decided, it’s easier to eliminate distractions. Also, you will have better control over your emotional reactions and feel more at peace with yourself.

14- Do Something Everyday To Reach Your Goal

What is your plans on achieving this goal? Don't simply say you need to get wealthy in the near future. You have to pick a date on the calendar and take action every day if you're serious about achieving that goal. 

When your objective is unique enough and be trackable. You can separate it into a month to month and week by week goals. This way, you can make your progress to determine how far or close you are to achieving that goal. 

15- Figure out Where to Start

When you manage to get started, you might find yourself in the mindset "where you want to get started” or You might get stuck on something that would take a lot of time or effort. There are some ways to get through this:

It's easy to put off big projects and instead focus on smaller, more manageable tasks. If the thing you keep putting off is some large project, consider breaking it down. Drawing all the little steps you have to do in order to finish the task, then get started on one of those little steps.

16- Do More Of What You Enjoy

A job that you love gives you additional inspiration to reach your goals, and when you do, the feeling of that achievement is remarkable. You will carry that achievement in any place you go, helping yourself in different parts of your life.

Without the ambition to shine, your production will be low and, one after the other, your focus will suffer. Productivity lets you work in the most active way, which encourages your work-life balance.

You won't need someone to keep tabs on your work or motivate you to reach your full potential. You will do your best work because it's natural and exciting for you to do.

17- Do the right thing

This is a really important point. When you do the right thing, you are sending signals to yourself. At the point when you make the best decision, you like yourself. 

You may feel blank or drown in negative idea circles. Of course, you are letting yourself down. If you do the right thing in your life, you deserve the success that you may be on your way right now.

18- Be Specific

People reach their goals not only because of talent. But what they do on a daily basis. They do constant actions which lead to achieving their goals. They need to be specific as much as possible to make it a clear objective of what success will display.

Clear-defined steps drive them until reaching their goals. Evaluate the right actions that are required to reach the goal. Thus you have to be clear and precise.

Make a particular order that includes what you have to do. It's preventing yourself from living for less than your goals. So you have to understand clearly what and how often you need to do.

19- Exercise Daily

Exercising daily can improve your attitude and decrease feelings of stress and depression. Also, it helps produce positive feelings and reduces the perception of pain.

You should move your muscles daily for the best possible use of your body and brain. Pick your own activities whatever suits you well. What's more, always make time to do it.

Final Thoughts

We recommended you to follow the above approaches, it will surely produce a focus inside you.

If you know who you are, you are less likely to compare yourself with others. 

If you understand that you cannot have everything more than everyone you will be at peace with yourself. 

That center is crucial for your enlightenment. Actually, when you reach that center, you are enlightened.

And you can create that center with a focus on yourself.

Furthermore, that will create huge visible success in your life. These actions are simple but very effective.

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